Pins & Poodle

Holiday Weekend

2009-05-25T10:00:00.003-04:00

OK, I realise I have not been updating very often. I'm thinking of signing off altogether, but maybe not. I'm not much of a talker, so maybe it means I'm also not much of an updater?

I spent alot of time this weekend working on my container plants. I very much enjoy picking out plants and then arranging them in containers. I like everything about it. I like finding unusual containers; old buckets, new planters, etc., I like looking at all the many plants and then trying to decide which I want, I like haphazardly arranging them together and then watching how they grow, I like getting dirty and sweaty when I work with them.

The long holiday weekend is almost over. These long weekends go so fast! Ugh. I am not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. I would much rather spend my time at home, but if that were the case I would be wanting to go to work (never happy so it seems).

Buddy Guy

2009-04-19T13:52:00.003-04:00

GF and I went to see Buddy Guy play this weekend! As usual I didn't really want to go, but what a good time! Here is a clip of him on Letterman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UccVUT8Q988

I just recently learned who Buddy Guy is.......what a talent. He put on a good show. The audience was an interesting mix; young, old, white, black, and just about everything in-between. I had fun watching the crowd interact.

We watched his live show at a casino, then spent the night in the swanky hotel. We loved the room - best hotel bathroom ever! I lost all the money I took to gamble, but thankfully GF broke even! So we didn't come home broke.

Today we're laying around the house and resting up! I was planning on being more energetic and getting some things done around the yard. It doesn't look like that is going to happen, though. Ahh, there is always tomorrow.............

Wrestling.......

2009-04-10T20:30:00.004-04:00

Isn't he cute? This is Mitts wrestling with a small pillow. The pillow used to look nice on the couch. Now it is usually found on the floor. Oh the box he is in, is also part of our living room "furniture" these days.

In other news.......... I'm still employed! The workplace has been difficult the past month or so. None of us know who will get laid-off next. Rumors continue to flourish - they drive me crazy. It's ridiculous how we behave when changes and uncertainty are close. I'm trying to stay away from all the negative talk; it ain't easy! Some days are more successful than others. I'm not sure what wears me out more - the constant persistant speculating from my co-workers, or my inability to get away from my co-workers and their constant persistant speculating. Ugh.

My gf got an extension on her volunteered lay-off. She is home until June 1! She has been busy enjoying her time. I am also enjoying being well taken care of by my unemployed gf who has lots more time and energy these days.

The First Cut

2009-03-22T12:27:00.002-04:00

The first wave of 200 hourly workers getting permanently laid-off were notified Friday. I made it through! Whew! Some of the people who were with me during our orientation were included in the lay-off. Most of the laid-off people were working in the area that I first started in. I feel lucky to have been moved to a different area. I'm safe for now, but still expect some kind of time off in the near future. Rumor has it we might be doing a rotating type lay-off; half of each area works for a month, gets laid-off for a month, etc. I'm hoping that is what happens, but who knows?

My girlfriend who has many years seniority has taken a month volunteered lay-off. She has been off work since early March. I'm glad we can afford to let her have the time off. She is enjoying it! And I'm not too unhappy to have her here doing most of the housework, and cooking - it has been very nice indeed.

I'm going outside today to do some yard work - yeah! It is only around 43 degrees outside, but very sunny. It feels good to be outside, even if it is still cold. We had a long and snowy winter, and the yard is messed up from plowing the driveway. It beckons me........

Oh for the good old days..........

2009-03-02T21:32:00.003-05:00

The joys of being 50 (or 51) continue. Today I had a colonoscopy. Good times. Everything is fine, it was just a check-up thing, but times like these really make me miss the good old days.

The days when I ate nothing but junk food, drank like a fish, smoked a pack and 1/2 a day, and never gave a thought about going to the doctor. And excluding the hangovers, I felt just fine.

Now I go to the doctor regularly, watch my food choices, no longer drink or smoke, force myself to exercise, and usually have some kind of ache or pain everyday. Pretty much sucks, don't you think?

Mitts is a He

2009-02-18T13:10:00.002-05:00

Mitts got home from the vet today. Mitts is a boy! Guess you can't trust two lesbians to find the "boy" equipment on a kitten? Anyway, he is home after spending an extra night at the hospital. He licked the thumb on one of his paws open and the vet had to suture it shut. Hence the extra night. We're glad he is home, even if poor Bails is not. We have to give him medicine for a couple days, should be interesting.............

Another Lay-Off Coming?

2009-02-16T12:03:00.004-05:00

It's Monday and I'm not looking forward to going to work. The company I work at announced last week they are going to have 200 permanent lay-offs and 1200 temporary lay-offs. This is supposed to happen sometime in April, May or June - depending on which source you talk to. I'm pretty sure I will be one of the 1200 temporary laid off. I don't think I'm feeling too much stress about it yet. There are just too many variables involved in how and when they let employees go, so I am trying not to get myself worked up and in a funk over something I have no control over.

Mostly what I feel now is aggravation and irritation at my co-workers for constantly speculating about the future and for the many many rumors that are spreading like wildfire. I just want it to stop!

To change the subject completely; Mitts is at the Vet's today. She is getting fixed and her front claws removed. I feel horrible about the claws, but cannot let my furniture and house get ruined with her scratching. I am having trouble concentrating because I keep thinking about her. Can't believe how quickly I got attached to the little trouble maker! We're bringing her home tomorrow. I'll be glad when she is home and healed.

Mitts

2009-02-08T18:22:00.004-05:00

We have a new family member. Meet Mitts; she is almost 6 months old and is a little terror.

Our home is usually calm and quiet. Not so this week. Mitts is very lively. She wants to play with our 13 year old cat Bailey. But Bails wants none of it. It makes for much growling and hissing. Poor Bailey. I hope she comes around soon. I'm getting tired of trying to keep Mitts away from her.

Out with the old.........

2009-01-20T13:39:00.004-05:00

GF and I just watched the inauguration. Wow! I got chocked up more than once just watching the crowds. Incredible.

It's a good day to be an American.

Meeting My Love

2009-01-06T11:59:00.005-05:00

Maria over at Just Eat Your Cupcake has inspired me to attempt to tell the story of meeting my girlfriend. So here goes.......

The first time I remember seeing her was at a local bar I used to spend most of my time at. She came in to meet a mutual friend. She had a long skirt on and looked like a hippie to me. I thought she was an odd-ball and didn't pay much attention to her.

A week or so later, she showed up again to meet the same mutual friend. I learned at that time (from our mutual friend) that she was back in town after living in Cincinnati for a brief time. She had split up with her long time lover and was trying to meet new people. I still thought she was odd and didn't give her much more thought than that.

Maybe a month of so longer I was at a gay bar in town and she was there by herself. I felt kind of bad for her because I knew she was recently out of a long term relationship, so I said hello. And we started talking. We talked for an hour or more and I (surprisingly) enjoyed myself.

One thing led to another....... we would see each other every now and then when we were both out drinking. Which led to more talking, which eventually led to drunken sex. This went on for a few months.

We continued this drinking/sex pattern until this odd women told me "while she very much liked me, I drank too much and she could not continue to drink with me. And maybe I should consider not drinking so much."

Well, that didn't go over very well with me! The nerve of this women to say such a thing! I was just trying to be nice to her, and she accuses me of drinking too much...........the only problem with this line of thinking, I was having a nagging thought about the very same thing. Then to have someone actually say it out loud to me? Hmmmm..

So we didn't see each other for another few months or longer. I continued drinking and life started falling apart for me.

More time went by. I finally got the help I needed to stop drinking, and started to make positive changes in my life. I needed friends in my life who didn't drink. I couldn't think of anyone except this odd women who I fucked around with and had the nerve to tell me to stop drinking. I was desperate for new people (and I wanted to get her approval for changing my wicked ways) so I gave her a call. We talked for hours and got together a few days later. We started hanging out together. I started to think maybe this women wasn't so odd after all. I started to have fun and I started to fall in love. I was shocked! We waited to make sure my sobriety was for real, we waited to make sure my feelings were for real, (we waited because I was scared to death) we waited until I couldn't stand not be be with her..... we have been together ever since. Best thing I ever did.

Cat-sitting

2008-12-28T23:23:00.001-05:00

I have a co-worker who went home to Indiana for the holidays. I volunteered to check in on her cat while she is gone. Here is a picture of her cat. I love the way she looks. And she is has a cute personality too. I have enjoyed checking in on her.

My co-worker is renting a place right by the lake. I love the location! Here are a couple pictures from her back yard.

It's going to be a great place to visit in the summer. Here's hoping we're still working together and I get to take advantage of this view.

Holidays

2008-12-27T11:25:00.000-05:00

It's Saturday. Christmas is over; which means most of our obligations are over. We did Christmas day with my family. It went well. I don't think anyone got their feelings hurt, and we didn't have any kids crying or fighting. I had a good time. My sisters' never fail to make me laugh, and laugh alot.

My girlfriend is at her Aunt's house. She left yesterday and will be home sometime this afternoon. So I am getting my alone time that I crave. I am starting to wish she was home, which makes me glad. I'm always afraid that I won't miss her, but that hasn't happened.

Once she gets home, I am looking forward to having a couple days to do whatever we want, no obligations, no work. We don't go back to work until January 2nd. Not sure what we'll do, we have no plans and I love it.

Winter is Here

2008-11-23T00:45:00.000-05:00

Which looks better?

The picture on the left was taken in my backyard yesterday morning.

The picture below was taken in my backyard a couple months ago.

I prefer the flowers and birdbath, but unfortunately we live in a snow belt and we're getting snow, snow and more snow! Sigh. It's going to be a long winter.

Election Results

2008-11-08T19:02:00.000-05:00

My GF and I got home from work Tuesday night and couldn't wait to turn the tv on and find out what was happening with the election. We got home just in time to see McCain giving his concession speech. I could hardly believe it. The last couple elections have been so unbelievably crushing and disappointing, I had a hard time believing that the person I wanted so badly to win this time - actually won! The happiness and excitement we felt Tuesday night was wonderful. We were watching history and cheering it on........ go Obama, go USA. I felt proud to be an American again. I felt (and still feel) hope for the future of our country. It feels very very good.

Working the Late Shift

2008-11-02T01:36:00.000-04:00

I have been on 2nd shift for two weeks. For those of you unfamiliar with 2nd shift - I start work at 3:00 pm and finish at 11:00 pm. I worked these hours only briefly many, many years ago, so this is a pretty big change in my routine. Not to mention that my GF works the same hours and we have never been together this much before - never! So far, so good.

The best part..... not having to get up to an alarm when it's still dark out. The worst part.........not much alone time. We're still working on that one. GF doesn't seem to need the time alone that I need, she likes having me around - imagine that! While I also like being around her, there is a part of me that wants be alone sometimes. I can feel myself getting very irritable and antsy if it doesn't happen.

I know we'll figure it out. In the meantime, I'm going to keep enjoying no early alarms!

Stay Away

2008-10-17T09:24:00.000-04:00

My brother received great news about his health. His lab results came back cancer free! He is back on the road to "normalcy" again.

While I feel elated about this, I also feel myself hesitant to celebrate too much or too long. I guess it's because I think the cancer is not finished with him and is just giving him a reprieve for now. The fucker always seems to be lurking, waiting till everyone is happy and calm. Then it strikes again. It's like an evil monster that won't go away. Just lets you catch your breath and relax until it makes it's nasty return.

So...........even though I am very happy for the good news, I am afraid to let down my emotional guard. It sounds crazy, but it seems like if I can be cautious and not get too relaxed or happy about his good health, then maybe the monster will stay away. Nuts I know, but that is the crazy kind of bargaining that goes with this disease.

No More Sewing

2008-10-14T18:14:00.000-04:00

I finally post about my sewing job, and two days later it changes. I am now in my permanent position - permanent meaning - until I have 6 months of employment and can start bidding on different jobs if I choose.

I am working on the receiving dock. I receive parts with a scanner, unload trucks, and deliver parts. I am currently still in training, and it is kicking my butt! I am not used to being on my feet all day (especially while wearing steel toed shoes) and the past few days I have not had the chance to drive the forklift. Ouch. I come home and collapse...........

I think I'm going to enjoy this job. I like doing a variety of things and not being stuck at a machine all day. I have previous experience in shipping/receiving, so it feels familiar to me. Not too sure about my co-workers, though. I am trying not to judge too quickly, so we'll see.

My old Singer

2008-09-29T18:42:00.001-04:00

Let me share a little bit about my job. First of all I am working in the largest manufacturing plant in our city. It is our largest local employer and most of the people who live in this area, want to be employed at this plant. When I interviewed and was hired to work here, I was expecting to run some kind of machine or equipment. Or I thought I might be a fork-lift driver or work on an assembly line of some kind - because after all this is a manufacturing plant. But guess what my job is? I am operating a sewing machine! Yes, a 1955 Singer. I am sewing parts that go on other parts. Except for a brief time in 7th or 8th grade when I was forced to participate in a home economics class, I have never sewed anything in my life.

So here I am, everyday going to work on my sewing machine. I am the only person who is operating the old Singer. As far as I know there is only one. I now know how to change the bobbin -I am not sure if I am using the correct word here - the person who has been training me is very hard to hear and to make it worse she uses alot of slang that I don't understand - I can sew a very straight line and am also pretty darn fast!

This is not going to be my permanent position, I could very well end up running a machine or on an assembly line. But for now I am sewing away and can't help but think that God has got one hell of a sense of humor!

Lack of Power

2008-09-15T18:56:00.000-04:00

I know that this is going to sound lame considering what the poor people in Texas are going through but.......... we got hit with the last remnants of Ike last night. And boy what a wind storm!

Our electricity went out (in the second quarter of the Browns vs Steelers game DAMN IT) and stayed out all night. That has never happened to us for that length of time. Has it happened to my family who all live in the country? Yes, many, many times. But not to us city dwellers.

At first it was exciting (except for missing the Browns vs Steelers) but quickly became a pain in the ass.

We had our air on because it was a stifling 80 degrees with 91% humidity, so that was the first thing we missed when the lights went out. Then of course the bedrooms are upstairs and it was hot up there without the air or even a fan on.

I was sure I would wake when the power came back on so I could set my alarm for work, but that never happened and I woke up at 6:45. I am scheduled to start work at 7:00.

But really,that didn't matter because I could not get my car out of the garage anyway! We have no man door in the garage, so we have a key to release the door when the power goes out. But since we have never had to use it since getting the electric door openers quite a long time ago, I could not find the key.

And the phone is electric and we have no cell phone ( what can I say? we are old and stubborn and see no need for it?) so I couldn't call anyone for a ride. And I couldn't call my boss to explain why I was going to be late.

The electricity came back on at 8:30 this morning. I arrived at work at 9:30.

The GF slept peacefully through the night and was early for work today. She works second shift.....

Rainy Saturday

2008-09-13T18:16:00.000-04:00

Today has been a good day. It's been raining lightly all day but is warm, so the windows are open and a slight breeze is coming in. So even though the rain blew our plans to golf today, the GF and I have made the most of it.

We took a short ride to a local apple farm and purchased a couple baskets of freshly picked apples. The area we drove to has one farm and grape vineyard after another. We had our choice of produce stands to stop at. Peaches, apples, tomatoes, corn....... it's all out!

We stopped at a bar/restaurant in the country for lunch. The food was great, the service was good, the prices reasonable. We left full and happy.

We took a short nap after we got home. And there is not much better than napping on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

I baked an apple cake - not sure what the name of the cake is. It just came out of the oven and is cooling. So now the house smells like apple cake and fresh rain.

I am working tomorrow, but not even the thought of having my weekend cut short can ruin the good day we're having today!

Blank Looks

2008-09-03T19:04:00.000-04:00

I want to post more often, but I find myself looking at the blank "post" page with a blank brain until I give up and go read other fun blogs. I can't think of anything worthwhile to write. There is nothing happening right now (not that I'm unhappy about that).

My work life has started to become routine. I have a fairly mindless job; but it pays very well and has great benefits.

My home life has been calm. I still like the GF and she still likes me. Our cat is spoiled and spends her days sleeping, eating, and getting petted.

My family is the same, with the exception of an upcoming surgery for my brother. He has been fighting cancer and hopefully the surgery (Sept 8) will be successful and he will be able to get back to some kind of normalcy. I have not blogged about this because it's all very scary and hard to know what I'm feeling about it from one minute to the next. Might be a topic in the future?

So, no news is good news? Maybe I'll be able to stop going blank when I try to post in the near future............it could happen............

Do we have to go?

2008-07-28T18:16:00.000-04:00

I'm getting into the routine of working again; it's Monday and I'm waiting for Friday already. No matter how hard I try to talk myself into getting the most out of every day, I am always waiting for Friday! Then Friday is here and I blink and it's Monday again. I can't be the only one who does that, can I?

We had a good (and fast) weekend. Went to the casino to celebrate my sister's birthday Saturday night. It was fun, didn't win anything but then I didn't expect to win. My sister is fun to be around, she is very witty and likes to laugh. So even though none of us won any money, we all had a good time.

Sunday we went to a party at an old friend's house. I didn't want to go, thinking it would be a big drinking event. But I reluctantly went and ended up having a good time. There was plenty of drinking, but we went early and left before it got too drunk. It was good to see some old friends, and meet new people. I'm not a big socialite, would be happier staying at home with my girlfriend. But I'm smart enough to know that I need to get out occasionally and stay in touch with friends - even though I usually go kicking and screaming! I wish I was the kind of person who loved to be social, active and busy in the world, but it's not going to happen.

Waiting

2008-07-17T16:02:00.000-04:00

It is Thursday of the first week of my new job. I still don't know what I'll be doing at work. What a place! First of all, it is massive. My legs are aching and my knees are killing me from walking and going up and down (too) many steps. I am worn out before I get into my building, because I have to park so far away. Think I might be a bit out of shape? You would think correctly. I am pissed at myself for being so fat and out of shape, it is making everything with this job twice as hard as it needs to be.

I have been in new employee orientation all week with 10 other people. We have watched many videos, filled out much paperwork, taken a few tours, but mostly we have just sat around and waited. We did absolutely nothing today. We sat in an air-conditioned room for 8 hours, reading the paper, watching MSNBC (they repeat the same stories all day) and waited for our job assignments. The assignments never came.

I am anxious to know what my job is going to be like. All I know at this point is which building I'm working in.

To be continued when I have more information..........

Vacation

2008-07-03T09:25:00.001-04:00

I'm still on "vacation"! Yeah! I was scheduled to start my new job on June 23, but they called to inform me the start date was changed to July 14th. So I'm still on my "summer vacation" and very happy for it.

GF is on vacation this week and next. We didn't make any plans this year for a real (going away somewhere new) vacation because my job situation has been so up in the air. I wasn't expecting to have any time off work this year, but am ending up with over a month between jobs.
So we have been staying close to home and enjoying each day. We've golfed alot this week - my game has gone steadily downhill much to my frustration - we've stayed home and played many games of marbles - aka aggravation, we've visited friends, we've taken leisurely naps, made big meals and eaten like there is no tomorrow........it has been great! Today is a rainy day, so I expect a nice afternoon nap and maybe a movie later.

Sounds boring, but I'm loving it!!

Gratitude

2008-06-21T15:19:00.000-04:00

Yesterday GF and I went to visit her aunt in small town PA. We spent most of the day with her, then came home, rested briefly and went to a friend's birthday get-together. We were home by 11:00 and in bed by 12:00ish.

Sometimes I am astonished by how much my life has changed. Twenty years ago I could have never imagined having a day like we did yesterday. But even more shocking is I could have never imagined having a day like yesterday and being happy about it!

I can remember making fun of people who spent their time doing pretty much exactly what I do now. Funny how that works out.............I'm usually pretty satisfied with my choices now, it wasn't always that way. My life used to be clouded with alcohol or the after effects of alcohol. My life could have very easily turned out much differently than it has.

Today I am feeling grateful for what I have, and for what I don't have. Grateful for my GF, my family, friends and home. Grateful that alcohol is no longer an active part of my life, although it will always be there waiting to take over - it no longer runs my life.

This is starting to sound like an AA meeting - and I don't want to sound that way. So I'm going to go read more blogs, stop being soppy, and get back to my cranky self!!

2008-06-12T19:37:00.000-04:00

I've been a bad blogger. Sorry it's been so long.

Much has been happening here - we're back in the "excitement, turmoil, make it stop!" mode. I just got another new job! Quit my "old new" one and start the new one next week. For someone who worked at the same place for over 28 years, this whole process of applying, interviewing, accepting, quiting and doing it all over again, has been a bit of a nightmare! I hate change! But am getting heavy duty doses of it this year.

I'm glad to be out of the "old new" job - worked there for about 4 months. I really hoped it would be a job I liked, or at least could tolerate. I tried, but kept coming back to the sad fact that I did not like the place at all. I just hated how the place was run, the employees received little or no respect, the people in charge thought they knew everything and wouldn't listen to anyone. All about me, kind of attitude was rampant. I was having a harder time getting myself to go to work with every day that passed. Glad it's over!!

Now the new job............I'm not sure what to expect. It is a huge employer in our area. Great pay, great benefits. But I will no longer be in management, I'll be back on the factory floor. My biggest fear is I won't be able to do the physical labor that the job requires. It's been along time since I've done this kind of work and I'm not getting any younger! So I'm worried, but trying not to think about it too much.

I have tomorrow and next week off then start the new job the following week. I'm going to make the most of the time I have off. GF and I are golfing tomorrow (she took a vacation day). We're going to a course we both love and I'm looking forward to it. Should be a fun day.

PA Primary

2008-04-22T19:42:00.001-04:00

Ok, so today was the Pennsylvania primary - finally! Never have we had a primary that actually meant something, like this one. Usually by the time it is our time to vote at primaries, the candidate has already been picked. There has been so much hoopla around here for the past few weeks - I'm glad it will be over soon. We had at least four phone calls every day for the last few days from both Obama and Clinton campaigns. Someone from Clinton's campaign has been in town four or five different times, President Clinton twice, Hillary once, and Chelsea once or twice. Obama was in town once. Don't get me wrong - I am very glad there is excitement about this election. And I have been excited about it too, but it is getting to be too much around here this week! Enough already!

No sleep apnea at my house

2008-04-21T13:14:00.000-04:00

It's official - my GF does not have sleep apnea! I was convinced she had it. Guess I'll put my doctoring theories away. So I guess the reason she never sleeps well, is she drinks too much caffeine, and has to pee too often in the middle of the night. Huh, go figure.

I am blogging while at work - it's a first for me. I'm nervous about it, but I have nothing much to do today, besides look busy. Makes for a long day......especially when the weather is beautiful like it is today. I blame my parents for not making me be born wealthy so I could be outside golfing instead of inside earning a living. Sigh.

Not much to say

2008-04-20T20:10:00.000-04:00

I have not really had much to offer, so I haven't posted in some time. I still don't really have much. I started blogging when I lost my job, and now that I'm employed again, it is hard for me to take the time to write anything. That doesn't mean I don't still read many, many blogs. It just means I'm too lazy to write.

My GF just left to sleep overnight at the hospital. She is being tested for sleep apnea, which I'm convinced she has. I miss her. We work different shift, so I'm used to not seeing her during the week. But tonight is Sunday, and I'm used to having her in the house on Sunday! Funny how we get into routines without noticing, until the routine is changed.

I have started weight watchers (again). I feel so fat and uncomfortable, it's making me unhappy. So far I have lost 12 lbs. It is a start, but I am really struggling. I gained weight when I wasn't working - emotional eater? - and I stopped exercising too. It is a real struggle for me to get started again. Everyday I have to fight the urge to overeat, and God knows I am always in an internal fight to do any kind of exercise. And the really odd thing about exercising, is I like it when I'm doing it. Go figure.

That's all for now. Maybe now that I have started again, I'll blog more often. I'm not sure though. We'll see.

Cabin Fever

2008-03-12T19:13:00.000-04:00

I am getting a huge dose of cabin fever this week. We were buried under 2 feet of snow last weekend (I'm not kidding, we got 24" of snow in a day and a half!) and all I want to do now is shed these winter blues. I am dreaming of open windows, fresh spring air, warm breezes, green grass, working in my yard, golfing, sitting on my porch listening to the neighbor kids play, etc,. etc. Hurry up spring..................

Fun With the Kids

2008-03-01T16:47:00.001-05:00

What's a good way to beat the winter boredom? I know - stay overnight at your mothers house with your nephews and niece! That is exactly what I did last night. Keep in mind my mother is in Florida, and I am "watching" her house and her cat while she is away. I think having the kids for an overnight visit at her house was an excellent idea.

We had fun eating junk food and watching movies in the dark. It was a big slumber party! My favorite movie of the night was Underdog. (Give me a break, the movie choices were slim) Cute dog, sweet story. We watched one of The Simpson's movies this morning, while we ate pop-tarts and played with the cat. Then we played Black-Jack and the dumb card game that the kids call "match". They kicked my butt at both games. Did I say my oldest nephew is 12? Yeah, they beat me at games....

Do you think my mother will mind that her house is trashed when she gets home?

Nurse I am Not

2008-02-23T17:32:00.000-05:00

My GF is sick. She had flu-like symptoms yesterday and today she has a cold. Sneezing and blowing her nose, coughing and wheezing, and whining non stop.

I feel like smacking her snot filled head. Is that bad of me? I can't help it, she is making me nuts. She thinks I have no compassion, but I do. I just can't keep up the good nurse routine for very long - I could play Dr. but that is another subject and believe me, she is not in the mood today.

Ugh. I just want to have spring be here and go outside and play in the dirt. I don't want to be stuck inside with a sick girlfriend. With this admission, I am now doomed to get the cold from her, and suffer the consequences.

TGIF.........No More

2008-02-16T16:51:00.000-05:00

I miss my Friday's! Damn! Let me explain.... At my last place of employment, I worked 10 hour days, Monday thru Thursday. And Friday was "my day". It was wonderful. It felt like I actually had enough time. Time just for me. I could spend the day doing yard work, visiting my mom, going to the beach, whatever I wanted to do. Even though I mostly just stayed home and got the house cleaned, did laundry, etc. - it was still my time. I loved that.

I no longer have my Friday's. The new job requires me to work Monday thru Friday. Thursday evenings, I feel so resentful and cranky! I feel like a little kid who got their favorite toy taken away. And yes, I am pouting over it.

Overwhelmed

2008-02-05T18:59:00.000-05:00

Two days on the new job............I'm tired!! Whine! Whine! More than anything, I feel overwhelmed - there is alot to learn. I'm working on being patient with myself, so I don't go crazy.

Hopefully I'll get used to working again soon, so I can start posting something a little more interesting. Right now I'm too tired to think.

Working For a Living

2008-01-31T19:18:00.000-05:00

Guess who got herself employed? That's right, I went and got a job! That the hell was I thinking? There go my lazy crazy days of unemployment; no more sleeping in, no days filled with reading blogs and playing spider solitaire, no more afternoon naps, no more getting paid for not working. No more domestic diva, oh no!

Seriously, I'm both excited and scared shitless. I have only experienced working in one place my whole adult life, so this is all new to me. Yikes! I'm happy for this oppurtunity, but I really do feel like throwing up.

I start Monday, so I'm going to try to calm down - at least until Sunday night. Might be easier said than done.........

My spell check won't work? WTF?

Six Feet Under

2008-01-28T16:52:00.000-05:00

We spent most of Saturday evening and almost the entire day Sunday watching Six Feet Under. I know we're behind times, but I am totally hooked on that show. We are renting it on NetFlix and have spent good portions of the last few weekends watching it. Good story lines, I love what they do with the gay couple. They are right on with so many of the issues that come up in relationships - gay or straight.

There was an episode (we're watching season 3) with David and Keith that struck home with GF and me. It was a scene when they were discussing their different backgrounds - David's family is stoic and never shows any emotion, Keith's family is angry and doesn't hide it. Very much like our respective families. My family is based on Leave it to Beaver; all is good, we are never emotional and especially never angry. Her family is constantly angry about something and seems to be in constant crisis. It has been one of our most challenging "issues" to work with in our relationship.... same with David and Keith.

We also watched Puccini for Beginners this weekend. It was OK at best. I liked how the main character dressed, and I thought her girlfriend "Grace" was cute. Sometimes that is enough to keep me happy..........what can I say?

Shopping & Interviews.........Yuck!

2008-01-25T15:49:00.000-05:00

Since I am not working, I get to do alot of chores around the house that I've been lucky enough to have avoided until now. Like grocery shopping. Ugh! I remember the days when I thought my GF spent way too much money and time on groceries. That thought has quickly been replaced with "My God! I can't believe we need to get groceries again. They cost so much!"
Gone are the good old days when I waited in the car while GF shopped. Or better yet, waited at home while she shopped. Another reason to get employed?

Speaking of employed......I had an interview last week and another of sorts this week. I wasn't too sure that I was interested in the job that I interviewed for last week. The pay and benefits looked appealing and I thought the interview went well. But I didn't hear back from them. I'm trying very hard to look at this whole employment thing in a positive manner (otherwise I'll go over the edge into depression) but I have to say - it sucks! Interviews are nerve wracking. I'm a pretty shy person and have been taught not to "brag?" about my strengths and abilities. So the whole interview thing is going against my core feelings. It is a struggle.
The interview I had this week was done on the phone, by a large corporations' recruiter. We'll see where it goes next. They have many levels of hierarchy so now I wait until next week to see what happens. I am trying not to get too worked up over this one, and will wait until I know more before commenting on it.

Until then, I'll try to stay out of grocery stores (yeh, right) and will take a deep breath and get ready for the next adventure.

Let It Snow

2008-01-19T15:08:00.000-05:00

We're getting snow today - - - alot of snow! I was starting to think (hope) that winter had forgotten us, but it was not to be. Although I have to admit all this snow is feeling quite fun. The GF and I are stocked up on good food, have many good movies to watch, and it is the weekend! It's a nice way to spend the day - eating, watching movies, snuggling under our blankies and watching it snow. Life is good.

Out With the Old... In With the New

2008-01-11T19:12:00.000-05:00

I know I'm a little late to be posting a New Year's topic, but since I am a terrible procrastinator I tend to think that January 11 isn't too late. (think I should have procrastination in my resolutions this year?)

Lets re-cap the big events in 2007;

1. I get a large promotion and raise in early April.
2. I turn 50 in late April (still in shock over it)
3. I join a golf league in May and enjoy it all summer.
4. I start to feel the stress of the job promotion in May and it continues to increase all summer.
5. We get a kitchen remodel in July.
6. My Boy Caleb dies in August.
7. I get permanently laid-off in October.
8. I start to feel less stress and more like myself in December and it continues.....

As you can see, I had some BIG life changing events in 2007. Both good and bad. I am glad the year has ended and I am trying to convince myself that 2008 is going to be full of new adventures and new beginnings. I am both terrified and excited to see what happens this year!

Employment vs Unemployment

2007-12-18T19:42:00.000-05:00

We met with our financial advisor today. It is never fun going to those meetings. I don't understand most of the "financial talk" - stocks, retirement funds, etc. I try to understand because I know it's important, but I can feel my eyes glassing over as I nod my head to let him know I comprehend every word he says. Is it just me or is this stuff hard to understand and boring as hell?

The main point I got from today's meeting was - I better stop daydreaming about never working again, and start to focus on the future employment situation. Fun times.

I realize I need to be employed again. I have ideas, but have not acted on any of them. Some of my ideas are probably more far-fetched than others. Here are a few;

1. Work at the local casino - driving a small bus to pick up gamblers in the parking lots. This will involve getting a CDL license. How do I get the license needed?
2. Start a business of my own - (possibly with my sister who I adore) caring for pets while their owners are on vacation. Walking them, feeding them, etc. Not quite sure where to start with this idea. Do I need certification? Don't know where to start.
3. Work at a garden center or possibly a flower shop, since I have a strong fondness for plants, dirt, outdoors. Are there any jobs out there in this field? Am I physically able to do the work associated with this option?
4. Put my application into the largest local manufacturer in our area and start at an entry level position. I don't want to get back into manufacturing, but the pay and benefits are great here.

Those are a few of the things I have been thinking about. I feel a bit overwhelmed right now. Sigh........... I think my best bet is to go have another brownie and worry about all this on another day.

Housewife

2007-12-10T11:13:00.000-05:00

It's another "work" day for me. No I didn't get a "real" job, but my house-wife duties continue to grow! I'm washing the kitchen floor today and doing laundry, (I have concluded that laundry is endless) and I'm sure there are more jobs waiting - I just can't get past doing the kitchen floor right now! Who knew that being a housewife was going to be so consuming?

Yesterday was spent being lazy. My GF made a great dinner and I watched football for most of the day. Browns win! Steelers lose! Good day.

We have our house decorated for Christmas. I love a Christmas tree, I don't particularly like hauling everything from upstairs and I hate taking everything down and hauling it all back upstairs. But I like getting out the ornaments every year. We have some ornaments from my grandparents tree, some from GF's past, and alot of new ones that we have accumulated. Something about them make me feel good, it's kind of like the past and the present together mixed with family, friends and.......I don't know exactly what I'm trying to put into words, just that I get a good feeling when I take out each ornament and put them on the tree. It makes all those damn steps worthwhile!

We're having friends over for a lunch/Christmas gathering this coming weekend. We haven't entertained much in the last few years, so I'm a bit out of practice. I'm looking forward to it though. Now that I'm not employed, I find that I'm much more willing to be around people and am actually wanting to be more social! That is a change for me, I tend to be hermit-like and it takes alot of effort to socialize. Not that I'm an asshole or anything around people, it's just that I'm more comfortable having a day like yesterday - staying at home with my GF, eating and watching football!

My kitchen floor is probably dry by now........gotta go before I run out of steam....

All Grown Up

2007-11-21T18:15:00.000-05:00

GF and I got into a fight today.

My version; she got up cranky and stayed that way and I got sick of it.

Her version; it's all my fault.

Anyway, we got pissy to each other for no good reason. She left for work this afternoon and I was still being very "cool" towards her, even though she was trying to make up.

Now it is 3 hours later and I am feeling shitty about the whole thing. But I don't want to call her and apologize, because of course I have nothing to apologize for. What to do, what to do??

I'm pretty sure I will call her soon, because I am a grown-up and all.......... but it is a struggle to be adult and not a spoiled brat. Sigh.

In sickness & health

2007-11-18T20:41:00.000-05:00

I am finally feeling somewhat human again! I have felt like crap for over 2 weeks - even went to the Dr. He gave me medicine that helped, but nothing seemed to be able to make this sore throat, congestion, weezing, etc, go away very quickly. It is still trying to hang around, but life is much more bearable now! Not fun being sick.

We went to the GF's aunt's for the weekend. Spent the night at her house. Her aunt is wonderful and I like her alot, but I would lose it if I had to spend more than a night there every once in awhile. We call her home "a dark cave" - she has an aversion to turning lights on. And her home is dark. It is very depressing, even in the daylight.

"Auntie" took us to dinner, to celebrate Thanksgiving. I think one of the reasons I enjoy her company is because I can feel the love she has for GF. I can't find the words to explain it, but the feeling is there, and it feels good. My GF does not come from a very large family, and her mother is crazy as they come. So Auntie serves as the mother figure in her life.

Good football day today! Browns win, Steelers lose! Doesn't happen that way very often, so I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

2007-11-06T18:00:00.000-05:00

On my to-do list today; get gas in my car (it's actually a CRV, but it's easier to write car - sue me I'm lazy) try to breathe without coughing up a lung, and get my hair done.

What I accomplished today; got gas in my car.

Yep, that's it. And it felt like an accomplishment well done.

The breathing without coughing up a lung took the majority of my energy today - and yesterday for that matter. How did I get a cold? I never get colds! This is not nice and I don't like it. Ask my GF how much fun I am when I don't feel good. If we make it through the week without a divorce I will be lucky.

Monday mornings

2007-11-05T09:39:00.002-05:00

Mondays are not what they used to be for me, thankfully. I haven't worked for 4 weeks, this is the first time in about 25 years that I'm not working. How odd it feels to not be dreading Monday's. That sounds terrible, but that is how I felt every Sunday night. I like not feeling the dread of Monday, now I would like to find a job and still not dread Monday. I don't know if it's possible.

Getting Started

2007-11-02T20:25:00.000-04:00

I did it! I have been trying to get the nerve to start a blog (I would tell you I have been wanting to do a blog for 2 years or so, but that would be too embarrasing to share) and I have finally started!
Now I'm not sure what to write. Maybe getting this started if good enough for now...